Monday, October 12, 2009


How long has it been, since I last dreamed?
I couldn't remember,

Sunday morning, I sat quietly in the garden that hasn't been trimmed or pampered for two summers, and watched the autumn sunlight lit up the city, where no one was awake.
There was only birds and cats, and me,
Who wonder if it I shall ever dream again.

It bothers me, the fact that I lost the ability to dream (or remembering dreams once reality wakes me).
I took another sip of apple cinnamon juice that was made from powder, and sink myself in its warm scent.
Ah, How I miss the dreams...

where glass-made staircase suspend in the middle of the sky,
where ladybugs where giant friends that fly you across,
where bare feet chases one other playfully around the endless lavender fields,
where that special prince appears constantly, unexpectedly.
and where paper planes carry you through the gently flowing moon river,
where moon smiles and flower sings.

Even the nightmares!
where I was chased by monsters with no face,
where I had to hide from places to places to avoid the giants with smelly fur,
where hills and mountains and trees was shriveled and dark,
and where the creepiest castle stood alone in the center of a graveyard.
even those, I miss deeply.

They were what allowed me to escape into a world of my own,
seeing and exploring,
learning and experimenting,
but protected from reality.

Whether you wake up in horror, or in joy.
You knew, you went somewhere.
and they stay with you in most precious part of the heart.


A maple leaf slowly settled on the table beside my cup.
and I realized that the saddest part of life,
was the Childhood that never seem to be long enough.

In less than five month, I would be eighteen.
and I would enter a stage of life, where reality really hits.

I close my eyes, and thought of Peter Pan and Alice.

Disaster Never Felt So Beautiful

It was a mistake that took you here.
A bad decision that haunted you as you walk along.
There was no sign, no prophesy that led you here.
but here you are, standing in the middle of nowhere, alone.
You wanted to scream,
You wanted to shout,
You wanted to weep,
but you know that was your decision.
so you were a man about it, and tough it out.

You stood at the top of a hill where everything was colder,
and air harder to breathe in.
and when you arrive at the edge of the disaster,
you saw the city.

Lying there like a dark crematorium,
with clouds of smoke hanging above.
You thought for a second, and you look around yourself.
Serene and untouched.
Then for a second, you see the sun shinning above you for the first time.
and look at the city below you once again.

It is burning now, the city.
it is on fire.

ashes couldn't reach you, so you stood still, watching.

A disaster never felt so beautiful.
And there you are, smiling to yourself.

Hotel Chevalier

Nameless Ex: Whatever happens in the end, I don't wanna lose you as my friend.
Jack: I promise, I will never be your friend. No matter what. Ever.

: If we fuck, I'm gonna feel like shit tomorrow.
Jack: That's ok with me.

N.E: I love you. I never hurt you on purpose.
Jack: I don't care.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Friday, October 9, 2009


Was it simply a sick and insurmountable desire for something innocent?
Or was it simply faith that made me believe true love does not fixate on age?
I could never distinguish the two.
I tired,
I failed.
For days and nights
My heart lives solitarily in a maze
And there was no one, to walk with me, through this daze.
I am sick
I am a lover
She was my savior.

They view me as a villain
But how could anyone resist?
The stainless and polish skin
The joyous and heavenly laughter
The smile that mends a broken heart in this crippled society
How could anyone resist?

I adore her innocence,
But the minute my hands laid upon her,
I knew it was dead and gone.

And one day,
As I sit in my old chair, watching my Lolita escape out of my sight
My heart was also dead and gone.

But it was then, I no longer have desire for any nymphets other than her.
And it was the day, when I saw her after plenty years,
pale and polluted with other man’s child,
That I realized,
No matter what,

I loved her.
But I almost killed her.

(p.s. for anyone who has completly no idead what this is about, Its a poem inspired by the book"Lolita" by Vladimir Nabokov! IT'S ENCHANTING.)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Between the Sheets

Gosia Janik

Dawn was near, but she was still awake.
She was suffocating in her own restless mind.

She stares at the moon, and sank into the light.
Besiege by the cocktail dress from last night,
She kicked the lilac colored blanket away from herself,
knowing something is not right.

She cursed, and cursed, and cursed.
Finally, there came about a decision.

Slowly, she removed the dress, bottom-up. And
stripped away the laced brassiere, exposing her breasts in front of a muted night,
leaving only a pair of legs wrapped around by thin thigh-high stockings.

She took a deep breath, made sure the whole body was in the frame, and let the moon shine directly on her.

Nestled in her new found comfort, she closed her eyes,
letting the moans grew louder and louder.

No one was there to witness.
But believe it or not, magic was made happened,
For this girl is liberated out of her misery,
and could finally fall asleep peacefully between the sheets.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

we chase the night

We hear the subtle drums pounding away at midnight.
It was the sound of the opening to the parade. (our parade)

The palest mice appear into the alley, mediately contrasting the light and the dark.
But he didn't care so much, for he was on to something more worthwhile.
And that was the cheese, the cheese that he'd find tonight, and treasure back to his house to gnaw on.

He look up, and wave to his dark feathered and pumpkin eyed friend. The crow.
Soaring around the antique clock on 5th block, the crow was also onto something,
She was widowed and hungry. And in the endless and obscure sky, she search for something that fulfills her heart and body.

Quietly, the owl sits still on the branch directly facing a house.
He was the greatest disguise.
Under his tranquil expression, lies a desire for preys.
The robes around him covered him quite will, making the tree and him almost inseparable.
But it was the hooting that gave him away. So he sits quietly, active and not active.

we are the darkest creatures in this town, abhorred by humans.
but we are also the animals, with behaviors adapted
by the humans.

So finally,
What we all have in common,
was that every now and then,

we chase the night.